So my bf and I had a bit of a convo about what may go down when he meets my parents for the first time. Admittedly, I got off easy on this one. I was fortunate enough to have met his family before we got together, and because they are all amazing and I wasn't freaking out about it, I wasn't a complete ass. Somehow it's different with Asian parents. As far as Asian parents go, mine are pretty amazing and most of my Asian friends would consider them to be on the less conservative side, but this hasn't stopped my bf from worrying just a little bit about it. So, as we do for all of life's problems, I google'd it....and I found a funny little list of tips. I thought some of it was pretty spot on, but a lot of it wasn't really true. The list probably helps to perpetuate the stereotype (and the fear that comes with meeting Asian parents) so I thought I'd give my take on it and help the bf out a little bit.
I found the list here...some of the items I thought were interesting were"
1. don’t be a slob.
take a shower, iron your shirt, remove all piercings, cover all tattoos. (though once they accept you, none of this will matter.)
my take: True, showering is always a good thing. Keep the piercings, keep the tattoos. They are a part of you and tell a story. It really doesn't matter in the end and with my dad's facebook stalking skills he already knows all about them....and probably the stories behind them too...
2. unless you’re married, you will NEVER sleep in the same room.
my take: yah, this one's pretty set in stone.
3. be ultra well mannered."yes, please" and "no, thank you." and never call her parents by their first names, even if they insist.
my take: This one's true...and besides my parents would never insist you call them by their first names...don't even try using "auntie" and "uncle", that's reserved for Asian friends only....I also think I should add "don't drop the f-bomb every other word..."
4. learn to like fish sauce.
or at least tolerate asian food. a plus if you can use chopsticks.
my take: since my bf is a chef, we're good on this one....and I'm told he can pick up a grain of rice with chopsticks....very impressive...as long as he doesn't stab his dim sum...
5. if going to dinner, always offer to pay.
actually, instead of offering to pay, go straight to the register and pay. parents want to know you can take care of their daughter.
my take: yes, probably a good idea, but my dad is a funny guy....he usually will take the bill, but just to play with your mind, he won't fight for it the first time...so only pick up the tab if you can really afford it.
6. "for the love of god TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES when you enter their house." – mai
also make sure your socks don’t have holes. they’ll think you’re poor.
my take: taking off your shoes is a definite must, and your socks CANNOT have holes in it....not cause they'll think you're poor...but mostly cause they won't want you to ruin their hardwood floors...they're pretty serious about that one.
EXTRA ones especially for my parents:
- Don't talk about religion
- Do talk about yourself: your work, your passions and your values
- Do be honest...about yourself, your past and your hopes for the future
- Chill with my bro...he knows the side of me that nobody ever sees....if you can handle him, you can handle me
Basically, it's pretty simple with my parents. If my bf can show that he's making an effort to keep me happy, then we're golden....so far so good.
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