I saw him first and pretended like I didn't and hoped that he wouldn't approach me....but he did. I suppose he felt like it was pressing to ask me "did you get my text"....yeah, I did, I just didn't feel inclined to respond. Here's where I apologize for being a bitch....but I don't feel like I owe him anything. He asked me how I was. I'm terrific, but because he was standing there I instantly felt like I wasn't...so it came out like a lie.
That's the part that bothers me the most...the way I felt when he was there. Was this the way I always felt when I was with him? When did I become so desensitized to the feeling of worthlessness and feeling generally like shit that I stuck around in that relationship for so long.
So the plan for today: reinforce my self-worth by:
- exercising
- diving into my music
- reviving my passion by singing Strauss
- reminding myself I have the love of my wonderful family
- telling the people I love that I'm so glad for having them in my life
