::eurosolo::eight::homesick::

Loneliness is not the same as being alone. Many people have times when they are alone through circumstances or choice. Being alone can be experienced as positive, pleasurable, and emotionally refreshing if it is under the individual's control. Solitude is the state of being alone and secluded from other people, and often implies having made a conscious choice to be alone. Loneliness is unwanted solitude. Loneliness does not require being alone and is experienced even in crowded places. It can be described as the absence of identification, understanding or compassion. Loneliness can be described as a feeling of isolation from other individuals, regardless of whether one is physically isolated from others or not. It may also be described as a yearning for love or companionship, which is unfulfilled, but cannot seemingly be achieved, or may stem from the lack of love in one's life, and hence may lead to emotions such as rejection, despair and low self-esteem. Feelings of loneliness may be similar to feelings of the death or loss of a loved one.

People can experience loneliness for many reasons and many life events are associated with it. The lack of friendship relations during childhood and adolescence, or the physical absence of meaningful people around a person are causes for loneliness, depression, and involuntary celibacy. At the same time, loneliness may be a symptom of another social or psychological problem, such as chronic depression.

----my sentiments described perfectly by wikipedia----

I want to go home. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss having someone there for me whenever I need them. I miss being the person that people need. I miss laughing uncontrollably. I miss being myself around people who really know and accept me. I'm lonely...

eurosolo::seven::vocal joy::

As many of you may or may not remember, there was a time when your technique was only just developing and there were few things your voice could really do but phonate. I suppose most of us don't remember this time because we have come a long way in our vocal development. For someone like me--first finding a new voice, then learning to sing it with a new technique--I found that I regressed musically. I cannot communicate to you the frustration I have had in the last couple of months because I could not express musically what I wanted to because of a lack of technique. My graduation recital in Ottawa was a program filled with everything which fed my artistic soul. Every note of everything I sang that evening was from my heart. And so, it was not by choice that I should sing something like Vergin, tutto amor by Francesco Durante, but technically it was all my voice could handle--and needed. In the re-learning of this piece, it has been made clear to me all my old habits and the amount of technique needed to sing every piece...not just the ones we categorize as "difficult".

Now that I have a firmer grasp (albeit, still a long way to go) on my technique I have fallen in love with singing yet again. Now that I am actually able to sing a pianissimo--and distinguish it from a mezzo-piano, a crescendo, a decrescendo, "a piacere" etc etc. it is a thrill for me to sing at all...even Vergin, tutto amor.

This all goes to show how important technique is as a tool for expression. I can say with absolute certainty that I will never take dynamic markings for granted ever again. I am truly finding joy in ever single accent I am required to sing.

=)