Countdown to Europe...

2 weeks exactly.

I'm beginning to realize the things I'll miss:

- first and foremost: family
- pho and Asian food in general
- all things President's Choice
- bagels
- wii
- bubble tea
- seeing my nieces and nephews
- getting phone calls
- my own sink
- counter space for baking
- overhearing a conversation in French
- having my own piano downstairs
- the good ol' hockey game
- showering barefoot
- having access to a car
- the term "windchill"
- looking up and seeing stars...

I suppose this list will begin to grow once I leave....check back for updates!

::euroblog::eight::looking back on it all and looking ahead to the future::

Well, it's been an unusually long and short 50 days. When I arrived I was completly unsure of where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do...so I came up with the idea that I would just go to Europe, have a couple of lessons and see where it leads...truth is...IT JUST WON'T DO. You have to go out and get what you want.

I never thought myself naive when it came to my chosen profession and the difficulties I would face in pursuit of my dream...I suppose it comes from the security of supportive parents (thank you for everything), supportive friends (you mean more to me than you'll ever know) and a supportive environment (Ottawa is and will always be home)....however* these things do not prepare you for a slap of harsh reality that you're much further than you thought you were from your dream.

The most important thing I've learned here,--besides the gaps missing in my knowledge of vocalizing-- is the 'almost' limitless strength I possess. You really can't know how strong you need or can be until you are thus summoned my your circumstances.

Also of interest are the things I've learned to live without. The little things that seem trivial now that I've come to the end of this trip. I haven't used any hair products, I haven't blown out my hair, I used my straigtener twice...both times only because I had important appointments. I've gone without exfoliation for 50 days and I'm still presentable...and blasphemous as it sounds....the only pair of shoes I've needed weren't my gladiator heels....*however....my toner and my razor have not left my sight.

I've also gained an appreciation for the strangest things...the value of potatoes and pasta as a staple on a student budget, for example. The wonderful world of jazz and world music that I had previously never taken the time to truly appreciate. The vast spaciousness that is Canada. The easy-going friendly nature of Canadians...and why we have a reputation for it, among other things...

It's been a ride. And as always it's not really about where you end up....it's the journey there and the people you went with...that being said, thanks for reading, and I can't wait to see you all.

xoxo
cc:)

ps...blogging about my travels has really brought back my love of writing...so expect to hear more from me!!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

euroblog::four::mahler good, beethoven bad

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euroblog::three::Utrecht, dinner, bike-rides and JENNY!!!::

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::euroblog::two::bad start already?!:

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::euroblog::one::packing::

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::knowing when to just walk away::

When you're at a job on the last day of your two-week's notice where
you discover the customer is more important to you than they are to
your boss...

When you try to explain why what you do at work is important but you
can't seem to make anyone understand...

When you go into work on your day off and end up in tears

When you know that one more week on the job could very well mean the
end of a friendship

That's when you need to walk away...

Sent from my iPod

::dead cells and bad memories::

I've always been a fan of south pacific's "I'm gonna wash that man
right out of my hair"...my best friend is getting her hair drastically
changed today. What is it about a haircut or a dye job that helps us
cleanse from the men who aren't in our lives anymore? In the past I
have:
- put blonde highlights in my hair (first relationship)
- Cut off 6 inches (highschool sweetheart)
- dyed it red (1st adult relationship)
- got bangs (1st non-relationship)
- cut off about 8 inches (2nd adult, most passionate, most hurtful
shouldn't have been relationship
- dyed it pink (1st whirlwind romance)
- dyed it black (true love)
- dyed it pink again (true love ends)
- grew it out another 4 inches (back with my true love again)
- and dyed it black once again... (making the big move that will
change our relationship forever)

I'm not sure what it is but it makes sense somehow...
In any case, her hair is 6 inches shorter and she looks awesome:)

Sent from my iPod

::Ottawa international chamber music festival drama::

Amazing music ((time for trio))

Egotistical musicians. ((crazy drunk Hungarians))

Dissed violinist. ((almost fight))

Crybaby violinist ((mean texts))

Drama drama drama all at our very own chamberfest.....
((details to follow))

Sent from my iPod

:: more thoughts resulting from my 10 year purge ::o

sooo....i have been emptying my room of everything I haven't had the
nerve to touch for the last ten years. I'm a sentimentalist, a
romantic, a pack-rat and most of the time I like clutter just to keep
myself sane. But tonight, all that's left is a desk and four bare
walls. The walls revealed how as a little girl I put stick-on glow in
the dark stars everywhere. I noticed how they were all placed only as
high up on the walls as I could reach at that age. as I scraped off
every single star tonight I thought to myself how symbolic it was of
me having reached the goals I have set for myself as a little
girl....having a bf, finishing high school, finishing university...

Having removed almost everything from my room... I relaxed and laid
down staring at the ceiling in my parents room thinking about what's
next in my life...without a word, the lights were turned off and in
the darkness there were hundreds of little stick on glow in the dark
stars on the ceiling...I suppose the next place to go is up...wherever
that may be...

Sent from my iPod

::proud::

Just attended a fabulous concert performed by my good friends Mark and
Gillian...not sure why but I always enjoy myself a whole lot more when
I actually know the people performing personally. There's just so much
more personality that comes through in the performance...it makes me
wonder whether or not I'm really a good performer or if it's just
because I'm so different from my actual self when I am a character
that people say I'm good...Well, I guess the only way to find out
would be whether or not I get accepted to eno...oh wait...
Riiiiiight....They don't seem to know how to open and play mp3
attachments...

Sent from my iPod

Blogging from my iPod?!

Technology is too cool to be true...

Sent from my iPod

.:ex-boyfriends..looking for perfection...finding prince-charming:.

i just found an un-mailed letter that i had written to my first bf...i think i was 15 or 16...it went something like this:

...i always expected a prince-charming to come along one day, and sweep me off my feet....that i'd be as happy as the princesses in all the fairy-tales...maybe this isn't what i had expected...i thought you were perfect and i couldn't find any flaws in you...up until today...then i realized even the most perfect guy is still a guy...and i don't think i'll ever find the perfect guy...cause no matter how great you are, you still have the ability to be immature. maybe i should just content myself with the way you are...cause asking for perfection is too much isn't it?..and if i were to break-up with you, just cause you weren't perfect enough, or not as ideal as the prince-charming i've always dreamed of it wouldn't be a very good reason would it?...

what i've learned?

it's never too much to ask for perfection...if i'm going to make an effort to be perfect why shouldn't i ask for it in return from someone else?...

agreeing to be someone's girlfriend because they make your heart beat fast isn't a good enough reason...agreeing to be someone's girlfriend because despite the imperfections you're still interested in taking the ride with them is....

falling in love happens to me all the time....either i'm a glutton for punishment or i'm the luckiest person in the world...

at 16, i wasn't ready for a relationship...at 22...neither was he...

at 24, i'm still not sure i'm the right kind of girl to be in a relationship...but i'm going to give it a go anyway because the ride seems like it's worth taking...and my idea of prince-charming has changed...

prince charming isn't tall, dark and handsome...prince charming doesn't sweep me off my feet...prince charming isn't perfect...prince charming is 5ft3, loves singing, dancing, loving and living and she's the only one who can make me truly happy...and hopefully i can be that person for the rest of my life....

RECITAL AND OPERA

AH!...my recital is on friday and I have like nothing memorized...i lie...i actually know all my music really well......as long as i can see it!...FACK...how does one go about memorizing an hour's worth of repetoire...meanwhile trying to keep all my vocal technique in check....and whilst working every evening.....with rehearsals in the day time for the opera on sunday...I suppose it's nice to be busy like this for a struggling artist....except i'm not getting paid for any of this..

in other news....i'm applying for the ENO vocal training program....English national opera...you get coachings and end up performing at the end of the program and the whole thing is headed by the director of eno....downfall...1300 pounds....that's like...almost 3000 canadian dollors...right now i can only afford a ticket there and back....fack

hop hop...

Easter...eww...what should i say to people who ask me if i've accepted jesus?...

::i have the best bf in the world::

i thought that my bf forgot about our anniversary on valentine's...and i've been having a pretty rough time lately with the whole long distance thing...so i resigned myself with the 4 minute conversation we had. When i got home, the doorbell rang and there was a man with flowers at the door. i thought they were either for my mother or from my mother. i couldn't figure out who would've gotten me flowers...and they were from my bf!...the note said "i'm glad i spent it with you"...and i couldn't figure out where the lyrics were from. turns out they were from the song "perfect day" by lou reed (a song that he drunkenly sang to me at the top of his lungs, on his knees, in the lobby of rez 2 years ago, halloween.) nobody has ever done anything like this for me....i think i can be happy now for the rest of my life.

1st post

so...i'm not sure totally how this works...but i'm assuming i write and it's for everyone to see. i've never really understood the whole allure of sharing my life with everyone...i suppose it's pretty egotistical to think that i should be interesting enough that random people would be interested in reading about me....but hey, why not. if anything it's good for old friends to keep in touch with me if facebook stalking just isn't satisfying enough...i suppose the only meaningful thing to say right now is that it's valentine's day fast approaching...and i miss my bf like crazy...someone gave me an anti-valentine today...and all i could say back was i don't need it cause i'm in love...but maybe i do...cause right now i hate this. long distance sucks ass.